The Separation of Church and Swine Flu

The Roman Catholic Church here in the Philippines has reason to be extra cautious about the spread of the swine flu in the halls of its cathedrals: the number of those infected in the Philippines has now reach 861.

To counter this ever increasing trend, the church’s archdioceses have set out advisories to its parishioners to make sure that the swine flu is nowhere near the altar.

As a virus, the swine flu is transmitted from person to person via the involuntary machinery of the esophagus – that is, coughing. In other words, people just cough out the swine flu from one to another. It is quite dreadful to see this activity right in the middle of the mass; it would then be the mass production of the disease.

So what’s the advisory all about? It is quite practical in its approach to the disease.

First, empty the stoups of holy water. If the stoups are empty of holy water, people would simply not dip their fingers on it, right? Not quite. People still dip their fingers on the stoup even in the absence of the holy water. In fact, the parishioners rub their fingers on the stoup, treating the stoup as stamp pads.

Second, parishioners are prohibited from wiping the holy images and statues with their hankies. What do people use their hankies for? They use it for just about anything – picking their noses, wiping extra saliva, covering their mouths when coughing and sneezing. With all these dirt and bacteria on the hankie, it is simply immoral to wipe it on the holy images and the statues.

Lastly, the holy host must not be given by mouth but only be placed in the hand of those receiving communion. This is logical because there can be occasions when the parishioner may swallow not just the holy host but the finger of the one giving it. The virus is literally licked in such case.

Recently, there has been thinking about closing the churches altogether as a drastic measure to prevent the spread of the disease. Even the church is far from being spared from this mysterious pandemic.